Morocco, Part 4: 1000 Camels for Your Love

The next day, we woke up early to go to this big shopping square in Marrakech.  We only had three hours before we had to head back to Casablanca, so Kallyn and I split from the rest of the group and power-shopped. Of all the places I’ve been to, Morocco had some of the coolest stuff by far. And it was all so cheap!

As we were walking along, I spotted a really pretty scarf that I knew my mom would love.  I went into the shop and started inspecting it, when the clerk came out from the back and started talking to me.  He asked what my name was and where I was from…the usual questions.  Then, he started saying what a gentle person I was…a little strange…but whatever. If that’s what gets me a good price, I’ll take it. As he and I were bargaining, he grabbed my hand and put in on his chest over his heart and said, ‘Your name will forever be etched in my heart.’ Oh jeez. Not another weirdo. 

It was super hot, so Kallyn and I were both working up a sweat while we were walking around.  As the clerk and I are still bargaining, he wipes something from my forehead. I was slightly embarrassed, but wanted to know what I had on my face, so I asked…and he replied with, ‘You were sweating, my love. I wipe it for you.’ Oh God. Did he just wipe my SWEAT from my face with his bare hands!?! That’s DISGUSTING! Is this how they show affection here? By wiping their beloved’s sweat? Kallyn and I both awkwardly laughed as I muttered something like, ‘Oh…you don’t need to do that’...but despite my attempts to dodge his hand, he KEPT DOING IT! I was sufficiently creeped out/grossed out/wanted to leave….but I wanted the scarf really badly still. Finally, I managed to get him to come down to the price I wanted for it, and Kallyn and I headed out as quickly as we could.  As we were power-walking/running away, he kept yelling, ‘Goodbye, gentle Elaina. I would give 1000 camels to have you forever!’ Aw, shucks. 1000 camels!? For me!? No guy has ever said such a beautiful thing! I was so taken by his flagrant display of affection that I told Kallyn sayonara, and headed back to him. Alright. Not really. But if he’d said 1001 camels…I might’ve.

As we recovered from the awkward scarf-buying ordeal, Kallyn and I wandered around buying souvenirs.  As she was buying a Moroccan CD, the man selling it to her overheard me say how I wanted to get a henna tattoo before we left.  He started exclaiming about how his sister did henna and to follow him.  So, we did, and he led us out into the middle of the square to a lady who he claimed was his sister.  I still had a few things to buy, so I told her that I only had 50 dirham to spend and asked her to show me what I could get for that.  She pulled out her little book of tattoos and pointed to a picture of a scorpion.  Um…I don’t think so. I was thinking more along the lines of cutesy and girly…not a bug.  I started shaking my head and said, ‘Is there anything else? How about a flower?’ She replied with, ‘No. For 50 dirham I can only give you scorpion. It’s nice scorpion.’  Yea right, lady. I’m NOT getting a fricken scorpion on my hand.  I muttered, ‘What about a SMALL flower? It can be REALLY small if you want! Less ink than the scorpion!’ One of the other henna tattoo ladies started saying, ‘Yea, just do small flower!’ My lady, who was clearly not having any of that just kept shaking her head and said, ‘No FLOWER! I only do SCORPION for 50 dirham!’ I turned my head to ask Kallyn if we should find someone else, and while my head was turned, the lady grabbed my hand and started drawing!  After 30 seconds of me repeating, ‘Wait! Can I have a flower!?!’…I just gave up. And before I knew it, I had a scorpion on my hand.  And, because I’m such a smart gal, I had asked her to use the long-staying henna when we had been negotiating. So instead of this thing being on my hand for 5-7 days, I get ‘What the hell is on your hand?’ looks for 2-3 weeks! Lucky me!

After paying for my scorpion, we started walking around trying to find a tajine (this cool pot thing that they use for cooking) for Kallyn. We walked by a clothing store, and the clerk tried to get us to come in.  We didn’t need any clothes, and we were both pretty broke at this point, which we told him…but he replied with, ‘Come in! Take pictures in clothes!’ Hmm…alright. Why not? We’ve got some time to kill…and almost no money to spend, so this will give us something to do for a bit.  We went into the store and as the dude was pulling down an outfit, he said, ‘This one for you, Laina.’ Since I hadn’t told him my name, I was slightly weirded out…until I remembered that along with my scorpion, the henna lady also put my named in Arabic on my hand.  Phew.

The clerk told us his name was Aziz, and started to put the outfit on me.  It was super complicated.  First he tied the top half of the cloth around my chest, and then proceeded to go between my legs with the rest of it, which made for some very awkward few seconds.  All the while, he was muttering, ‘I like you very much, Laina.’…to which I responded with, ‘Umm…thanks?’ Meanwhile, Kallyn spent the entire time giggling and taking pictures of the strange encounter.  After the weird between the legs thing, I put my arms through some random holes.  Then he tied a pink belt around me and that was it. I had no idea what I looked like, but by the look on Kallyn’s face, I knew it was pretty hilarious.
 
At this point, Aziz was getting a little touchy feely.  We took the picture, and he didn’t take his arm from around my waist.  Before I knew it, he started kissing my cheek and saying that I could be his Fatima (who I think was a queen or maybe Mohammad’s wife? Something along those lines…). I managed to pull away and look in a mirror…and boy was I a sight. And even though I’d had no intention of buying it before…I figured it’d make a pretty funny Halloween costume…so I asked if I could have the outfit for free. He looked at Kallyn and said, ‘She can have it for free…if I can keep her!’ Keep me!?! Do I look like a fricken dog to you!? Kallyn, being the great friend that she is, just started nodding and saying ‘She’s all yours!’ Then, I shamelessly proceeded to make sad faces, hoping that would entice him to let me have it.  He said he couldn’t give it to me for free since he didn’t own the shop, but then pointed to his lips and said that if I gave him a kiss, he’d pay for it.  All he wants is a kiss!? SURE!...Okay, not really. Unfortunately for him…and my wallet, I have way more self-respect than that, so I handed him 5 dollars and 50 dirham (about 11 bucks total) and called it even.  Halloween, here I come.  For future reference, I’ll be the chick in the super un-sexy blue drape. 

Only 8 more days until we're back in the US! I'll be sure to keep you all posted on anything interesting!